livin on a prayer & a travel sized bottle of wrinkle releaser.

whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa.
okay. hi. remember us?

so we're in Idaho now. I don't necessarily want to say we LIVE in Idaho because it technically doesn't feel like we do yet.

let me rewind.


so we packed up all of our crap and drove across the country. the few and the proud who follow my instagram were tortured for 3 days straight by my constant road shots from the passenger seat (sorry about thaaat.) . let's relive a few of the highlights:

WHAT UP GUYYSSS?

St. Louie

Mom Jeans in Nebraska. I'm not a woman anymore, I'm a mom.

Ohhh I was so jealous of her.

That all seems so long ago...

So here's what's happened since we've arrived in Idaho Falls:

Taylor started his job. He likes it so far. Some really devastating news for me is that he has to wear a respirator mask AND SO HE CAN'T HAVE A BEARD!!! I mean, it makes my heart hurt just to type it. So he's keeping the mustache but it just isn't the same.

Our first week here, we stayed at the super 8 while we decided to look for rentals. That didn't go great. On Sunday at church we met a lady who is a mortgage officer person lender guy madam sir. Whatever they like to be called. We ended up getting pre-approved with her on Monday for a home loan and decided it would be a good time to buy, instead of throwing away money on a stupid rental again. The mortgage sir lady gave us the name of a realtor who we decided to go with and he is great.

So, we house hunt while staying in the Super 8 and house after house we don't have a ton of luck, until Friday when I find this adorable perfect little house. So we put an offer on it and our offer got accepted! Yay! But less yay! after the inspection happened.

By this time it's week two and we're staying in an even WORSE hotel hoping to be able to move in to this house early but it turns out, this little dream house was actually a wet dream and I don't mean that in a perverse way. The basement was wet and moldy and the only way to fix it would be to excavate from the outside and fix the foundation. This was a very stressful time for us because we did not want to keep living in hotels because IT'S EXPENSIVE! But then by the grace of God and the goodness of the people of Idaho, we got hooked up with an RV in an RV park. So yep. We're living in an RV. It's okay, you can call me trailer trash, I won't even be sad.

I know what you're dying to hear, WHAT HAPPENED WITH THAT ADORBS HOUSE? Well, they refused to fix the foundation before we bought and so today we were like SEE YA!! Which I'm not really sad about that either because I can't deal with wet basements. I really hate em.

This blog just got way too long, even for me. And Taylor is eating an apple way too loud so I'm in a bad mood right now.

But to sum things up, we are starting the house hunt over tomorrow, we are RV trash, we are doing okay, and we have some really cool friends near by. Also it's getting cold, which sucks. But, I love to be fat and wear sweatshirts, so BONUS.

land of spuds.

I haven't pre-approved this announcement with my husband but...
we are moving to Idaho Falls, IDAHO.

Next week.

For reals.

It kind of gave me anxiety just to type that. I haaaaaaate the cold and the snow and Idaho. but at least we will be closer to my family and friends I left behind two and a half years ago. I'm going to try and have a good attitude because *supposedly* that helps. Gandhi/Confucius/Marilyn Monroe said so. And plus, at least it's not China. or the midwest.

I'm excited for a new adventure with my husband but what I am most excited about is that I feel as though this job that Taylor got will be much more fulfilling for him. It really bummed me out thinking that he was wasting that genius brain of his at work everyday, so I am glad that he is excited about not only the company but also his position.

I will update you more later because I can't talk about how much I am going to miss the dirty souf without wanting to cry. But in the meantime, pray that we make it to the land of spuds in one piece.

(And it's okay to congratulate Taylor, because it is seriously a blessing that he got a job exactly one month after he got laid off.)

HOW TO COPE WITH UNEMPLOYMENT.

look, I already look kind of homeless and it's not so bad.

sometimes your husband gets laid off, and sometimes you need to do things that keep you from being depressed while taking a break from near constant job hunting.

 here are things we've been doing instead of crying:

well for starters, I've been cooking/baking a lot. Like almost every night. And I'm sure better housewives (and mothers) than me would scoff at that, but I mean I've been going HARD in the kitchen. Like I am getting in trouble because we have too much leftovers.

For example, I've made this (as pictured above). and this. and this to go with these. and this. and these.

And most of it was with the help of my lovely new kitchenaid!

Which I'd like to point out was pretty much free.

We spent almost 5 days straight in the house in attempt to find a job for Taylor and also save money, obviously. BUT yesterday we caved and decided to go see The Dark Knight Rises. DON'T WORRY, it was the super matinee so it was only 5.50 a ticket. And Batman is my favorite so I had to go, finally.

It was sooo grood.


To supplement our income and also to be nice we have been dog sitting for the family that I "nanny" for while they are out of town for the week. It sure is different having  TWO regular sized shedding dogs in our house on top of my sassy little virtually shed free cotton ball. But they are really sweet and Lux likes to boss them around and make sure they don't get on the couch and they think she is an idiot, but strangely, they are also scared of her. Also they are basically in love with Taylor.

the boss

lily and ella

And then today we decided to plant some flowers in our ugly back yard.

IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL I MIGHT NEED TO HAVE A GARDEN PARTY!! and get some G.D. garden lanterns.

If you're wondering how the job search is going, it's going well. I mean not well in the sense that we have any specific leads but there are plenty of jobs for Taylor to apply for. In fact, so far I've compiled a list of about 80. And that was a list I made while being picky about locations. Currently Tayl is thinking about switching to teaching so we're trying to get more information about doing that. So if anyone knows anything about becoming a teacher in the state of Georgia (for someone with a Masters Degree), holla at us.

All of your kind words and prayers and helpfulness and well wishes are GREATLY appreciated. We love you all! We're gonna be okay. Probably. But if not, I think I could find a way to make a cardboard box a home. I'm resourceful.

square one.

there's big news in the Chateu de Giddens. Only time will tell if it's good news or bad news but presently, it's extremely stressful news.

Taylor unfortunately got laid off from his job here in Savannah yesterday. It wasn't his dream job by any means but it definitely paid the bills (and we sho got a lot of those). AND so it opens the doors of opportunity for him to find something more fulfilling but it closes the door of [mild] financial stability. Fortunately, we will have a normal income until the end of September, but we've been here before (job hunting for months and months) and it's not any fun.

It's a little exciting, knowing that a big change is coming and not knowing where we are going to end up but it's also SCARY! I felt so blessed when we ended up in Savannah because it's so cute and close to family. But maybe we won't get so lucky this time. Heaven forbid we end up somewhere in the midwest OR WORSE, somewhere where it snows! (Utah is the only place I would tolerate that, and that's only because it's a state that holds so many people I love.)

Ideally, we would stay in Georgia. (Atlanta/Savannah/Valdosta) But if I have learned anything in this crazy ride of married life it would be that the ideal isn't always what you get, but it's fine because all of this crappy stuff helps us grow. 

Anyway, if anyone knows of any material science jobs for Taylor, send them our way.

Also, pray for us...

Hey, I just made this.

Hey, I just made this. And it was crazy (delicious) so here's the recipe. So make it, maybe?

Click Here: http://www.food.com/recipe/snickers-salad-62855

Here are some more delicious chicken themed recipes I've tried lately

The World's Best Chicken (not quite the best)

Slow Cooker Chicken Caesar Sandwiches

Rotel Chicken Spaghetti

You're welcome.

an official announcement.

I am excited to officially announce that Taylor and I are becoming parents for a SECOND time.

and when I say parents I mean dog parents. We are getting another dog! and, perfectly enough, another Havanese! I will have two little white fluffballs running around my house. I CAN GET THEM MATCHING OUTFITS.

We've been talking about it for a long time and I think this might be a little crazy (CRAZY FUN!). But Lux is so lonely and my great aunt has to get rid of her dog because she's only allowed to have 2 at a time where she lives. Which is really sad for her but really awesome for me. I'm not totally sure when she will be here yet but probably sometime in the next month.

Her name is Cricket and this is the only picture I have of her and it's 4 years old. But she is just so sweet and I am just elated. I love doggies.

the time i thought i had melanoma.

DISCLAIMER: This story has some gross things in it and all also a buttload of my stupidity, if you don't like one or more of those things, I suggest you turn back now.

a couple of weeks ago i was just minding my own business when i started to itch near my ankle/cankle. it kind of felt like i got bit by something and the skin became sensitive and it started to seem like I scratched it (like as injury rather than the action). The next day it kind of scabbed over and was a little tender. i was sitting in my car waiting to meet up with Tayl for lunch when i looked at it and it looked like I had a small black growth on one of the freckles, and it appeared as though the light part of the freckle was spreading near where I was itching. I asked Tay if it looked like skin cancer and he said yes. I immediately became upset and was looking up stuff about it during lunch on my phone. Of course, this made me more upset and i was nearly in tears at the end of lunch. I tried calling almost every dermatologist in the area and most were closed or couldn't get me in last minute on a Friday afternoon. So all I could do was the worst thing any potential cancer victim could possibly do; research on the internet. After about an hour of research I had self diagnosed myself with melanoma. I watched this VIDEO:





Which obviously caused me to cry my eyes out/curse my teenage self for thinking it was important to take advantage of the free and unlimited tanning at my aunt's salon..

Unfortunatel,y I had to deal with my upcoming and imminent death and the cancerous growth on my leg until I could get to a doctor on Monday. It was hard. I cried a lot and and I prayed a lot, "Please Heavenly Father, if I live through this, I will become a sunscreen/anti-tanning advocate."

I also had Taylor take a picture of it with his backward lens macro technique, for the record, to make sure it didn't grow over the weekend.

please ignore the hairs. i promise i shave. sometimes.
I MEAN THAT TOTALLY LOOKS LIKE CANCER RIGHT?!

So, after a weekend of worrying, crying, making jokes about my death, letting Taylor know that contrary to what people might say, I definitely did not want him to be happy or remarry after I died, and praying; Monday rolled around and I scheduled an appointment for right when I got done babysitting. Then I went to babysit and I went on a walk with baby...

While on the walk I stopped at a park bench to reassess my cancer. I looked closely at it and started to pick at it and suddenly, the black dot just fell off.  IT WAS A SCAB THAT HAPPENED TO BE RIGHT ON A FRECKLE!

I WAS GOING TO LIVE!!

I called my best friend to tell her what an idiot I was, then cancelled the doctor's appointment. 

I decided just to be safe that I would make sure everything healed properly  before I wrote this blog in case I did have skin cancer (Because a wound that won't heal can be a sign of melanoma, something I learned in my extensive googling). That would be real awkward if I was like "I THOUGHT I HAD CANCER! I'M DUMB." But then I really did.

I am happy to report that all has healed and only the freckle remains. 

I realize that it's possible that I DID have skin cancer and because of my excessive prayers I was miraculously healed. But I feel like that would be pretty extreme, but just to be safe, I will keep my word. I will from now on ALWAYS use sunscreen and I will never use a tanning bed again and I will DEFINITELY judge and/or lecture you if you use them. Being tan is not worth getting cancer and dying, nor is it worth thinking you have cancer and spending a few days crying thinking you are going to die before your 25th birthday.

a bee sting, a stupid concert, and the slaying of an armadillo.

I know I haven't blogged in awhile and now that I am about to, I'm going to be complaining. 

you know when you find a recipe you want to make and you have all the right ingredients for it and you're totally excited but somewhere in the process something goes horribly wrong and your souffle (or whatever) turns into basically dinosaur poop? Well that was pretty much how my day went on Saturday.

I can't pin point exactly what went wrong but I know that when we got home in the wee hours of the morn and got into bed I wished I had never gotten out of it.

 Here were the ingredients for my "wonderful" Saturday:

1. Sleep in

2. Receive my make-up stuff I ordered online from Urban Decay

3. Get lunch at Zunzi's

4. Go to City and Colour concert in Charleston, SC

5. Walk around Charleston and get dinner before concert

That sounds awesome, RIGHT?

I guess you could say it all started to go downhill when I got up kind of late and since we were going to eat lunch pretty soon, I decided to skip breakfast. (Chill out health freaks. I know how important breakfast is.) But then we didn't eat lunch quite as soon as I had expected. So naturally, I turned into a monster. Because I am absolutely the opposite of delightful when I am hungry. (FATTY GOTTA EAT!) Zunzi's is a take out place so you walk in, order, pay, and take your food to either sit outside or leave. We decided we were going to stay and I walked outside to the corner to where Taylor was. I had my back turned to the building and Taylor goes, "Hey, watch out." (VERY CALMLY, the kind of tone you would use to say, "hey watch out you're about to step on hundred dollar bill.") and points to the side of me. I turn to see what I am about to step on and right as I look down I see a red wasp and and I get stung on my arm. (Mind you, this is while I am still a hungry monster) I immediately become enraged and obviously put all of the blame on Taylor. Now looking back on this with a clear head, I realized that it wasn't entirely his fault but if he would have just said, "WASP" I would have ran away and probably avoided being stung. So. Kinda his fault.

the victim: my right arm. not pictured: my pouty face.

At this point, my arm was throbbing and I was trying to hold back tears. Have you ever tried to eat while crying or on the verge of crying? It makes food not taste as good. So that was crappy too. Luckily where we parked downtown there was a CVS right across the road so I got some benedryl spray and it helped a lot, even though my sting still hurt a little on and off through out the day.

We arrived in Charleston, walked around. Had dinner. Went to the show which was at the Music Farm. The Music Farm is a very cool little venue. The show was at 9 and the doors opened at 8. We got there at about 7 45. When we walked in there was this spot about 6 inches higher than the rest of the main floor and there was railing so to me, it was as good as being in the very front because I could actually see and not have to be crowded by people. 

Finally at 9, the opener walked on. He plays the guitar for city and colour but he was doing some solo stuff. MUCH to my dismay, it was country. It was absolutely the most torturous opening act I have ever sat through in my entire life. It wasn't that he wasn't talented in his own right, but good lawd, I HATE HATE HATE country music. And unfortunately, I think it set a really bad precedent for the rest of the show, HOW COULD DALLAS GREEN SUBJECT ME TO THIS FOR AN HOUR? I know I'm getting old when I no longer feel that the musicians I adore can do no wrong. He did me wrong, and I don't know if I'll ever forgive him fully.

So basically we had to stand for about 2 and half hours before City and Colour came on. I was feeling really uncomfortable and a little nauseated so I decided to sit down for just a second. I was sitting there when behind me a really drunk troll like guy, came up to Taylor and was barely coherent and sad something about Taylor being too tall. Then instead of walking behind us and around he decided wanted to climb through the railing where I was sitting so he could get down to the main floor. Then he yelled, "MOVE!" at me and I instantly became furious, I turned around and briefly considered punching him in his knee caps. I shouted at him that I wasn't moving one inch until he asked me like a normal person. Then he leaned down and said very calmly, "You're a person." I rolled my eyes at him and scooted over so he could crawl through the rails. I hate drunk strangers almost as much as I hate country music. 

Almost immediately after that, this girl who had been standing down in front of the railing below us with her boyfriend acting like idiots making out and looking at each other dramatically crouched down through the railing and was like "HEY HEY COME HERE" like all excited and she was like "YOU GOTTA GET UP ITS DALLAS GREEN." I stared at her for few seconds and asked her if it was starting because I was really confused about her motives. She said "No not yet but it's about to, come on get up!" And I was like, "No." and I couldn't totally hear her but all I heard was, "Okay look my boyfriend is standing here so it's awkward." Or something and I was like, "I'm not getting up yet, I was here first." But I wanted to choke her and tried to convey that in my tone to her and I think she picked up on it cause she was like, "okay okay" and backed away and then they left. I was kind of hoping she threw a drink on me after the show so we could scrap like Jersey Shore style cause I was in that kind of mood, but it didn't happen. But just so you guys know, if it did go down like that, I would have won.

They finally came out and after one song I was ready to leave. The people in the audience were some of the most annoying and retarded people I've ever experienced in my life.

Where the idiot couple once stood there was now a girl. She was much more concerned about her instagram and facebook friends knowing that she was at the concert than anything else going on around her. She checked her facebook at least 2000 times, and she was texting her friend about how she had slept with this guy and bought them tickets to the show but he met up with his best friend, talked about other girls in front of her, and ditched her to be alone at the concert. But she kept saying how she liked him. WHAT IS WRONG WITH WOMEN IN THE WORLD? More on that in another blog on another day.

Anyway, it was 1 AM before the show got over and we had a 2 hour drive home. On the way home April was driving and she ran over an armadillo. I didn't see it because I was turned around talking to Tayl in the backseat. But I felt like it was a pretty good way to sum up how I felt about that day.

Oh and to answer the burning question, no not even the concert made it worth it. It was way better in London. 

on my soapbox talking about fat brides.

I'm sorry I have to be serious for minute:
Have you heard about the feeding tube diet? [if not, click me]

This story actually made me sick, and really upset. Like probably a lot more upset than it made you. I'm not sure when  the ultimate goal for brides was to look perfect on their wedding day instead of to be married to the love of their life. Brides-to-be everywhere are starving themselves, giving themselves skin cancer, mentally torturing themselves, AND EVEN GETTING PLASTIC SURGERY, so that they can attempt to achieve the impossible standard of perfection on their wedding day. When I hear stories about this going on, all I can think about is their soon to be husbands. Is he cool with this? Did he really only fall in love with what he thought she could be on their wedding day?

Here's the thing about me, on my wedding day, I was the fattest I have ever been in my entire life. But here's a fun fact, I was also the happiest I've ever been and I felt pretty. Isn't that weird? I was so excited to be married to best/coolest/cutest/sweetest/most fun man that I've ever known that I didn't even care about my double chin. Can you even imagine?!

I have no qualms with wanting to look and feel beautiful on your wedding day. But when you put that above all else (even your health) it just seems like it might be time to re-evaluate your priorities. Not to mention, if the fact that someone loves you enough to want to be MARRIED to you FOREVER, doesn't make you feel beautiful, then I highly doubt a feeding tube will.

Large and in charge and in love.

this one goes out to you, parents of small children.

Look, let's just put it out there, as someone who doesn't have kids, I judge parents. It's not like I'm the first. We all know the story; "I used to judge parents until I became one. Then I changed my tune." But listen, I don't judge like most people judge. I'm on YOUR side, kinda. I know that kids can be dicks. I know that the advice from countless parenting books often means nothing once you step out onto the battlefield of parenthood [KIDS vs PARENTS]. I know that in spite of whatever parental instincts you may have as a human, your instincts can not always save you from the tyranny of a child. I don't judge parents when their kids are screaming in the store or on the plane. I actually feel bad for the parent in this case because children are pretty much pre-programmed to throw tantrums. I can imagine it's embarrassing and frustrating. When I'm on a plane people act super rude about screaming babies it makes me want to punch them. With that said, I have compiled a small list of the things I DO judge.


1. If your kid says please and thank you
Obviously this is contingent upon age. But our 15 month old niece says thank you, soooo.... step yo game up.

2. Parental supervision
If they are at an age where they need supervision and it is a place that requires supervision (which is mostly everywhere). If you're at church, a wedding, the doctors office, a restaurant, etc. your children should not be running a muck breaking things and interrupting people. Contain them.

3. Whether or not your kids can entertain themselves WITHOUT technology
I'm not one of those people who judge you for letting your kids watch TV or play on the computer but when it gets to the point where they have no idea how to do anything without their gameboy/ipod/laptop/your cell phone, that's sad. I am always impressed with children who can entertain themselves by playing pretend or coloring or anything that requires creativity. [Kind of like this guy, HUNTER.] This I feel, is one of the things you can control.

4.  Let your kids get dirty
Being a nanny for the past couple of years, I understand that sometimes this can be hard. Not because of OCD but just because when they get dirty, YOU have to deal with it. And it can be annoying. But for heaven sake, they're children, and most importantly they're washable. This is really the only time in their lives where they can be unkempt and still be socially acceptable. BUT they should still brush their teeth and hair and take baths. Don't let them be the smelly kid in class.

5. How much time you spend with them
I've dealt with several kids who act MUCH better when they have adequate quality family time. Don't ignore your kids. (But don't smother them either.) As an outsider, your kids look up to you so much. They just think you are the coolest, best looking, smartest person alive. But this won't last, they will inevitably resent you when they are teenagers, so seriously, spend time with them while they still like you.