hiatus. tayl returns!

it's sad that my life is so that when I don't blog for 6 days it feels like I haven't blogged in 12 years. But, I mean, blogging is really one of my main duties as a wife and I should at least be blogging on Wednesdays and I totally skipped. Sorry to all my dedicated readers of Wifed Up Wednesday (aka just Jen.)

Monday felt like Monday, Then Tuesday felt like Saturday and a little bit of Sunday. So Wednesday felt like Monday and everything was out of control. In a good way.

The real Monday (not Wednesday) is when Taylor came home, finally.

His flight wasn't due to arrive until 3:55 PM so I went about my day as normal as the strong independent woman I had developed into over the past 3 weeks. In the afternoon, I was doing my make-up I got a call from Taylor at about 3:50 PM saying that he had landed, collected his luggage, and was waiting for me. I felt bad that I wasn't there waiting for him, but I forgot that Savannah airport is not like Atlanta.
So I hauled my butt out the door to get my man.

When we got home Taylor and Lux had their reunion and it was like I stopped existing to them.

Lux missed her daddy, and his leg:

The day went on and we relaxed and did normal married people stuffs. I did Taylor's laundry. (The first non-asian to do his laundry in weeks.) Then we went to the Hunger Games (again for me).

Random note, homecoming day also happened to be wildlife day in casa de Taykyns. 

That morning April came over to play tennis with me and she brought the mail in with her and informed me that this was in our mailbox:

 It was dead, obviously, but so pretty. I hope that in spite of the fact that it was dead, it was still a good omen.

Then while helping Tay unpack I went to hang up his coat in the coat closet and I saw this next to the frame of the front door:

And I was like, what the hef is that?

Oh no big deal, it's just a tree frog, in my house.

Don't worry, I set it free. I'm just glad it didn't suffer the same fate as it's forefather. (see:  the massacre of 11/11/11)

Anyway, the next day (Tuesday, which felt like Saturday) I woke up and I couldn't believe that my husband was home. It was weird to roll over and see not just a pile of laundry and a fluffy bed hogging doggy, but a MAN IN MY BED.

Someday I'll show you pictures that he took in China.

The cab driver strikes again.

Taylor spent his Saturday in Tianjin (which contrary to what I thought, he is not staying in Tianjin, just near it.)

He took a bunch of pictures and bought me a "Prada" bag, but unfortunately I don't currently have access to either thing. But he told me a story that I wanted to share.

You might recall from a previous blog post a story about a friendly cab driver who attempted to win Taylor's friendship with promises of beers and women. This same cab driver was taking him to Tianjin on Saturday and decided to let Tayl know that he was "very pretty". Tayl was like, "Thank you, but I'm not really that great." And the cab driver was like, "Trust me I have seen a lot of foreigners and YOU are very pretty. Is your wife pretty like you?" And Taylor was like, "No man, she's a mutant." (OK, OK I'm lying. He said I was pretty, but of course he said that. Guys don't marry girls they think are ugly.) Then the cab driver started asking him about when we were going to to have pretty babies and Tayl said, "We're not sure. But my younger sister is pregnant." To which the cab driver replied, "Is your sister pretty too? She must be if she has the same face as you!"

That's pretty much the story but I find it very odd that the man used the word pretty. This conversation was in Chinese, but there is a Chinese word for "handsome" and this guy did not use it. 

ALSO, Taylor lost his passport for about a day, but then found it. He left it in a cab that he had luckily paid for and had the receipt and phone number to that cab. ITS A CHRISTMAS MIRACLE. I thought he was going to have to be a Chinese citizen and miss our anniversay.

I have to blog about stuff that happens to him over there because my life is boring without him here.

little trouble in big china.

After 24 hours of travel, Taylor made it to China in one piece.

We have been able to Skype and email a little whenever he wakes up and I'm getting ready for bed and vice versa (on account of the 13 hour time diff), which has been nice. It's like we have traveled back in time to the early days of our blossoming love affair.

ANYWAY, I asked him to update the blog with his various adventures in China, BUT he is unable to access google (which includes blogger) and also Facebook. I've found some of his email updates humorous so I thought I would copy and paste them in lieu of him blogging.

Sunday Night :

"I got here just fine. 

The flight from Seattle to Beijing was tough. It wasn't long into the flight that I started burping collard greens that I got from Paschal's in Atlanta airport and I knew everything wasn't ok. I sat in my seat with my belt undone for a while. Then got a coke and walked around in the back of the plane a little. Then I started to feel like I really might barf up those collard greens along with the chopsteak, so I stood in the airplane bathroom. For about an hour. Finally I just pooped. I hoped that would be the end, so I finally asked for my dinner. The chicken and stuffing smelled delicious, but when it hit my tongue my body was clearly rejecting it. So I went and stood in the other bathroom. While in there both times I preemptively cleaned the seats off and practiced squeezing my legs around the toilet in the tiny little room to get ready for when I lost it. But I just couldn't puke. So after another hour or so in there I sat back down and was fortunate enough to be able to sleep it off after eating a slice of cucumber. I finally was able to get my cold dinner down after the first hour or so nap. All in all I ended up sleeping quite a bit after that.

But I knew when it didn't come out the top end that it would later meet me at the back alley. And it did. As soon as I stood up to get off the plane it hit me that I needed to clear my bowels. And I had to wait for everyone to clear out. I followed the crowd out of the tunnel, up the escalator, noting that everything was in Chinese and thinking that I had pictured my first steps in China to be less frantic, and finally around the corner found the bathroom. It was very relieving, but by the time it had subsided I was left all alone. 

I followed the signs for baggage claim and eventually caught up with everyone at the customs desk. I made it through without a problem and found my driver that was arranged. It was Sindy's husband, Yang Yong He. It was an hour and a half drive or so to the hotel and we chatted the whole way. Until we stopped so I could pee on the side of the road. That was really the first I saw of China, when I stepped over the siderail of the highway to pee in the middle of the night. It was nice finally putting my Chinese to the test for the first time in so long. It was a struggle to remember some very basic words. When I went to tell him how we had locked ourselves out of the house on the way to the airport and had to reach my arm up in the doggy door to break back into the house to get the car keys I had to ask him how to say the words wallet and arm. Pretty weak. Along the way I told him how much I was looking forward to some good chinese food and mentioned a few of my favorites, so when we got close to the hotel he treated me to one of the things I mentioned, niu rou mian or beef noodle soup. It was excellent"

I probably should have warned you about all the toilet talk in that one, but whatever. It is what is, and it made ME laugh.

Monday he had the day off to adjust and rest. He sent me pictures of his breakfast. That is one thing I am happy about, that he gets to enjoy the Chinese food he loves so dearly. But this breakfast looks weird. 

Just as a side note, this breakfast cost 34 american dollars!

He got a haircut (which was crazy to me that they allow haircuts in China that aren't bowl cuts) and he sent me this email Monday evening:

"Dear Kynslie,
I didn't go sightseeing. I met up with Mark instead and he went over what all is going on here. Then we went over to Motorola. We walked by where they make all these phones. I was surprised when he said they don't even wear gloves when they're making them. It was cool to see how normal and crappy looking it is looking inside one of these huge corporations. Also, it's snowing a little. Also, people drive like maniacs here. There seem to be very loose interpretations of traffic laws. People don't care about lanes. It's crazy. Also, I love you. 

Your husband in love,
Taylor"

Later we skyped when it was a about two in the morning his time. He told me he was hungry so we parted ways. Later I got this email:

"Dear Kynslie,

I went to get some dumplings just now cuz i forgot to eat dinner. The first place the taxi driver tried to take me to was closed, so he kindly offered to take me to get some beers and have some pretty girls accompany me. I said no and he found me a 24 hour dumpling shop. Me likely. He gave me his number and wants to be my friend. Now I will try to sleep.

Love you long time,
Taylor"

It makes me feel so special to know that he turned down an offer so enticing as some beers and pretty Asian girls. 

Goodbye Tayl. Hello, Ryans.

this morning was crazy. we were walking out to my car to take Tay the airport when he started patting his pockets. he had forgotten his wallet inside. I handed my keys to him and I waited outside and destroyed some ant hills on the sidewalk. he walked out the door in a rush and i asked if he had the keys... he didn't. And he had locked the door. SO after about ten minutes of sheer panic he was able to finagle himself back in the house by strong-arming the lock through the doggy door.

we DID make it in time to the airport, with quite a bit of time to spare. when we pulled up to the curb and i got out of the car it all hit me at once and i started crying. I tried not to look at him cause that made it worse.

When I got back in the car after our goodbyes, it was like dejavu from 2 and a half years ago when Taylor came out to visit me and I had to send him home so he could come back in 3 weeks to drive with me to start my new life in Atlanta. I cried most of the drive home. Then I saw a Hooters billboard and stopped crying because it got me to thinking, and I got the best idea ever...

(this is where the blog takes a really strange turn, but i had to share this)

I developed a concept for a new restaurant which will basically a Hooters for women. I am going to find a way to clone Ryan Gosling and Ryan Reynolds (and possibly try to create some kind of mixture of the two, just to see) and that way I won't have to worry about finding hot guys because that will pretty much cover every woman's needs. I mean, if you don't like BOTH Ryans then you like one or the other, and if you don't like either, you're either A) blind or B) a lesbian, and you can just go to Hooters. Ok?

So there will be a bunch of these serving you delicious food (oh yeah that's another difference, the food will actually be good)

 

You will come in and get to choose who you want to serve you. (this is where my mixed version of the two will come in handy if you can't decide.) Also I will make them dress classy and sexy. This isn't Chippendales for crying out loud!
 But if you tip good and ask nice they'll probably show you their abs.


And then since they are clones I will program them to say really nice things to you like:

and

and I'll be all THANKS RYAN!

So yeah, basically I've thought of everything. EXCEPT the name. I thought about "Ryans" but then that seemed too boring. Then I thought about something obscene like "balls" but that was too obscene, plus not as clever as Hooters, and I won't be out bested by them. Especially cause they still dress like they're in the 90's. 

So ladies, that's where you come in, I need suggestions for names if I'm gonna make this happen.

So. it has come to this.

I think this is funny:

Also, I am depressed.

Not like clinically or forever, but just currently. Remember when we were nearing the end of our time in England and Taylor almost had to go to China without me? But then he ended up not having to go and we got to come home and get settled here in Savannah. 

Well, the time has come for Taylor to go to China for reals. He is leaving on Saturday and he won't be back until March 26th. That's 23 days!

I know that's seems like no time at all for a lot of people (especially, like say, military wives). But TO ME, it is long. Taylor and I have not been apart that long since before I moved to Atlanta. And our whole marriage we haven't spent more than 2 days apart.  So to me, this sucks. 

When we found out he was going a couple of weeks ago I was trying to pretend that it wasn't a big deal to me but as each day ends and we get closer to Saturday, I get more and more sad about it. I am getting a little emotional right now just writing about it. I just want to crawl into the bed and sleep the whole month of March away. I love Taylor, he is my best best friend and I love being married (it's really better than anyone ever led me to believe that it would be... and I'm not just saying that to make my life seem cool.) 

I don't think that being away from him is going to be any fun at all. It will be stupid and boring.

PLUS, Lux acts like a real lady bastard when Taylor isn't around in the night time. She sleeps at the foot of the bed (instead of her usual against my back shoving me off the bed) and just growls at EVERY SINGLE thing possible. And I know she's going to be even worse knowing that her father is in a country where people have no problem eating dogs. She'll probably take it personally.

The bright side is that he will be home for our anniversary so we can go back to Maui....

Just kidding, I wish we were going to Maui. 

If anyone wants to come stay with me while he's gone and entertain me that's okay by me.

"i'm in a glass case of emotion!"

um, so this week was super crazy.

Wednesday morning, April left. I woke up to an empty apartment. Something felt weird about that morning. A text came in on the borrowed phone that I have that was across the room, but I figured it was probably some junk message from the service provider, so I ignored it. About an hour later I got a call on the house phone from Taylor at work.

This is how the conversation went:

Tay: "Hi, did you get my text message?"

Kyns: "Uhhh no."

Tay: "Okay well, you probably won't like this but today I talked to my boss, and it looks like they will be sending me to China for a month."

Kyns: ........................

Tay: "And unfortunately they said I can't bring my wife."

Kyns: ......................

Tay: "You're crying aren't you?"

I was crying. That might sound like a stupid reason to cry, but who in the world wants to be away from their husband for a month? Let alone any time period at all. AND THAT'S NOT THE ONLY THING, we haven't even established ourselves in Savannah and now that was going to be delayed even longer.

So I spent all of Wednesday feeling sorry for myself.
Thursday accepting everything, but secretly wishing that he couldn't get his visa to go.
And then Friday rolled around and I had just written a "woe is me" blog about the further delay of my normal life when I got another phone call from the Mr. himself.
and this is how that conversation went:

Tay: "So, what would your emotional reaction be if I didn't go to China?"

Kyns: "Well, obviously I would like that."

Tay: "You would be happy?"

Kyns: "Yes! Very."

Tay: "Okay then I won't go."

It turns out that they decided it wouldn't be fair to send Taylor to China when we hadn't been given a chance to get settled in Savannah. Once again, I am extremely grateful that he has a manager who cares at least a little about his family life.

I kind of feel like I had to experience that moment of drama to be sure that I appreciate the mediocre life that is ahead of me. Because that's really, all I want is to call somewhere home and have some sense of stability.

Taylor was a little bit bummed, cause he was a kind of excited to go, (there is still a chance he could go, but not until after we get back.)

So naturally went to get Chinese food to celebrate. We found a pretty good place in Oxford that was pretty legitimate for real Chinese food. They had "Hot Pot" which is not a drug, but basically Chinese fondue. [Are you ready for another Wikipedia link? Okay aaannnd NOW.]

IT WAS DISGUSTING. But Taylor enjoyed every second of it. It made me happy to see him happy, and in general I was just happy that things might actually go my way. So nothing could get me down, not even plastic flavored meat or shrimps with their heads still on.

It's pretty crazy to think that we have LESS than 2 weeks left here, 12 days to be exact. But as you can tell by my previously mentioned dramatics, I am more than ready to get back to America and be a normal boring human being with my little puppy and my husband.

P.S.
Today is our half-anniversary! We celebrated by eating delicious salads and portobello mushroom sandwiches.
And we watched Mean Girls 2 which is the worst movie on the entire planet.
Anyway, yay for marriage!