the time i thought i had melanoma.

DISCLAIMER: This story has some gross things in it and all also a buttload of my stupidity, if you don't like one or more of those things, I suggest you turn back now.

a couple of weeks ago i was just minding my own business when i started to itch near my ankle/cankle. it kind of felt like i got bit by something and the skin became sensitive and it started to seem like I scratched it (like as injury rather than the action). The next day it kind of scabbed over and was a little tender. i was sitting in my car waiting to meet up with Tayl for lunch when i looked at it and it looked like I had a small black growth on one of the freckles, and it appeared as though the light part of the freckle was spreading near where I was itching. I asked Tay if it looked like skin cancer and he said yes. I immediately became upset and was looking up stuff about it during lunch on my phone. Of course, this made me more upset and i was nearly in tears at the end of lunch. I tried calling almost every dermatologist in the area and most were closed or couldn't get me in last minute on a Friday afternoon. So all I could do was the worst thing any potential cancer victim could possibly do; research on the internet. After about an hour of research I had self diagnosed myself with melanoma. I watched this VIDEO:





Which obviously caused me to cry my eyes out/curse my teenage self for thinking it was important to take advantage of the free and unlimited tanning at my aunt's salon..

Unfortunatel,y I had to deal with my upcoming and imminent death and the cancerous growth on my leg until I could get to a doctor on Monday. It was hard. I cried a lot and and I prayed a lot, "Please Heavenly Father, if I live through this, I will become a sunscreen/anti-tanning advocate."

I also had Taylor take a picture of it with his backward lens macro technique, for the record, to make sure it didn't grow over the weekend.

please ignore the hairs. i promise i shave. sometimes.
I MEAN THAT TOTALLY LOOKS LIKE CANCER RIGHT?!

So, after a weekend of worrying, crying, making jokes about my death, letting Taylor know that contrary to what people might say, I definitely did not want him to be happy or remarry after I died, and praying; Monday rolled around and I scheduled an appointment for right when I got done babysitting. Then I went to babysit and I went on a walk with baby...

While on the walk I stopped at a park bench to reassess my cancer. I looked closely at it and started to pick at it and suddenly, the black dot just fell off.  IT WAS A SCAB THAT HAPPENED TO BE RIGHT ON A FRECKLE!

I WAS GOING TO LIVE!!

I called my best friend to tell her what an idiot I was, then cancelled the doctor's appointment. 

I decided just to be safe that I would make sure everything healed properly  before I wrote this blog in case I did have skin cancer (Because a wound that won't heal can be a sign of melanoma, something I learned in my extensive googling). That would be real awkward if I was like "I THOUGHT I HAD CANCER! I'M DUMB." But then I really did.

I am happy to report that all has healed and only the freckle remains. 

I realize that it's possible that I DID have skin cancer and because of my excessive prayers I was miraculously healed. But I feel like that would be pretty extreme, but just to be safe, I will keep my word. I will from now on ALWAYS use sunscreen and I will never use a tanning bed again and I will DEFINITELY judge and/or lecture you if you use them. Being tan is not worth getting cancer and dying, nor is it worth thinking you have cancer and spending a few days crying thinking you are going to die before your 25th birthday.