eviction notice.

Dear small person who has taken up residence inside of my uterus,

While I have really enjoyed the time of your stay over the last 9 months, it's time for you to evacuate the premises. I would ask that you would preferably do so in the next 5 days. (I MEAN IF YOU WANNA HAVE AWESOME HALLOWEEN THEMED BIRTHDAY PARTIES..... just saying.) I realize that you're nice and comfortable up in there, it sounds nice. But unfortunately my body can no longer tolerate 3000 trips to the bathroom a day, (1500 of them being in the middle of the night) the kicking of the ribs (which feels to be with the force of a fun-size Chuck Norris), having to have help to roll my large sumo-like body out of bed or off of the couch, and also, my knees are having a tough time with this extra 30 pounds you've seem to have brought with you.

It probably sounds like I am complaining but I'm not. (Okay, I am a little) But I would tolerate all of these things a hundred times over for you because I love you. Which is weird. We've never even met. The closest we've come to meeting is when you high five me with your feet. (it's my favorite) And anyway, because I love you, I want you to just be out here. Not just for me but for everyone. I don't REALLY wanna share you but I think I probably have to. Your dad is pretty excited. So excited that he's reading about breastfeeding right now and annoying me with facts. He loves to do that. I'm excited for him to be able to take out his desire to teach everything he knows (which is a lot. probably too much for his own good.) on you too instead of just me.

Now I'm rambling. The point is that WE WANT YOU TO BE HERE ALREADY! I mean I hardly sleep anyway and I'm getting pretty bored being at home waiting for you and running out of TV shows to watch on Netflix, so come on out. Anytime. Preferably soon. Like tomorrow. Or Tuesday. Or now.

Plus, I have so many clothes for you to model. The dogs are getting tired of me dressing them up in your clothes.

Okay well, I love you either way. Even if you do decide to be stubborn and not come out until Thanksgiving. (Actually, that would be unacceptable, so don't get any ideas.)

Love,
The landlord aka Mom