Emerson: month four

my little love bug,

You are 1/3 of the way to a year old. Which is basically UNREAL to me.

You are such a sweet boy. You are always bright eyed and smiling or serious, fixated on something, and drooling.

I can tell that everyday you are learning more things about the world around you. You've gotten really good at grabbing stuff and bringing it to your mouth. You're almost able to suck your thumb, you're trying really hard but mostly you end up with your hand flat to your face licking your palm, or with all of your fingers in your mouth (sometimes you make yourself gag, it's sad but also funny)

You're becoming quite the water baby. You love to swim in the tub. I can't wait to take you to the lake this summer!!

Your grandma and grandpa Coffin came to visit you a couple of weeks ago. They babysat you while me and your daddy went on a much needed date. You had a lot of fun with them and of course, they are still very obsessed with you.

Let's see... what else have you been up to this month? Oh yeah, you're ticklish now. It's pretty hilarious. You laugh SO hard when I give you Nah-Nah's. You squeal when you know I am about to tickle you, like the anticipation of it just drives you crazy!

Last Sunday you rolled over from your belly to your back! But you haven't done it since. I'm just glad to know you've got in you. Such a big boy. So big that you're basically growing out of all 3 month stuff, so you're back in that awkward phase where you're in between sizes. Doesn't stop me from dressing you fancy sometimes though.

Also today we decided to let you try some sweet potatoes for the first time, just for fun. It was pretty funny. But I'm not sure that you're quite ready for real food YET. Soon though. Cause you seemed to like it, just not sure how to keep your tongue in your mouth.

Anyway, you're so cool and now that it's getting warm we can't wait for all of our summer adventures with you.

You're the best!

mwah mwah mwah
 love,mom
xoxox

The painting in the nursery.

I wish I could say the nursery is all the way done. But I am happy to say it's MOST of the way done. There are only a few more things to hang. But Emerson only sleeps in there for naps so I think it's okay that since it's only partly his main room that it's only partly finished.

When I started nesting mode and was brainstorming what I wanted to do for the nursery. I KNEW I didn't want to do any particular BRIGHT color palette or anything too baby-ish like mickey the freaking mouse or whatever the hell. Cause that ain't my thing. ANYWAY.

One weekend early in my pregnancy, we went to my grandma's in Bear Lake and she pulled out this painting and told me how my mom had found in an old abandoned house in Idaho near Bear Lake. (That was a thing my mom was into, going into old abandoned houses and finding cool things, and somehow she was really good at it.) She asked if I wanted it. When I saw it I immediately knew that it had to go into the nursery and that I would work my decor around this painting.

Luckily, the painting isn't the only sentimental thing in my little mountain man's nursery.

this is the painting up close, and the frame that came with it. love.

Eye spy a little Emer man.
Also, the painting isn't crooked-- it's just my sub-par photography skills.

This rocking chair used to belong to my great-grandparents, and I was VERY close to them. When I was little my grandpa would come inside from working in the yard he would sit in this chair to take off his shoes and I'd climb in his lap and tell him about my day. I miss them both so much everyday. I am so glad I get to rock my baby in this chair now.

DON'T MIND MY EXCESSIVE BABY SHOE COLLECTION.
 I'm not much for hunting, but when we first moved to Idaho I wanted to paint some antlers and my grandpa is an avid hunter so I asked him if had any that I could have, he did. But I never got around to the craft so I decided to hang them as is in the nursery. It's fun to have a little piece of Emerson's great grandpa (still alive though, btw) in there.

After we decided to name him Emerson, I was downstairs looking through Tayl's books for pretty books to display on our bookshelves in the living room and I found this Ralph Waldo Emerson book. I felt like it was a sign. So I had to put the book in the nursery too. If you can't see it, it's "Emerson on man and God." ALSO, my BFF Jen gave us those cute little moccs. But they won't fit him for awhile so right now they are part of the decor.
And if anyone asks what the fox says, I'll find you and punch you in the throat.

My aunt gave me this bible while I was pregnant,
which just so happened to be my mom's from when she was little,
it even had her name engraved on the front. 

This is the adorable mobile that my BFF Jen made
which I have yet to hang over the crib but I WILL do it.
Just one of the things I still need to do.

impromptu friday night photoshoot.

Taylor is really the only one who gets dressed in this house regularly, because he has to go out in the world to work everyday. But Emer and I, it's rare. He lives in footie pajamas and I am the sloppy housewife cliche and wear sweats. Although sometimes we like to get him dressed up to go out since we do have some real cute clothes for him. We decided to do that tonight. And then of course, we had to take a million pictures. Here are the highlights and when I say highlights I mean like, every single one:

Emerson: month three

Emer-man,

Me and you are serious pals. You love me a lot, but probably not near as much as I love you.

this last month you've already changed so much. you REALLY REALLY laugh. The first time was with your great aunt Holly. now you do it all the time. mostly for me or your daddy. You've discovered that you can use your hands to bring things to your mouth. I mean, you're not like a professional at it yet, but you're getting there. Now, in addition to using your hands to hit your toys on your playmat, you use your feet too, like a little gymnast and you SQUEAL with major excitement. It's the cutest thing. You love to snuggle and you loooove to play with my hair. I had been considering cutting it until you started doing that. Ahh, just thinking about you snuggling me in bed and playing with my hair makes my heart melt.

you hate tummy time, but it's paying off cause you're so good at holding your head up on your own now. You loove to listen to your dad play songs for you on the guitar and sometimes you like to play on it too. you child prodigy. You love your puppies and slowly but surely they are starting to realize that you are person and love you too.

Also, this month you got to see Aunt Jen and meet Uncle Scotty and Gracie (your future wife) she's 2 and a half and she loved you.

The biggest accomplishment this month is that you are actually sleeping through the night! Unfortunately your paranoid mama is not, but I feel pretty proud that my half-attempts at sleep training actually worked.

Anyway, you're still wonderful. We both love you so much.

Stay cool. and stay a baby for as long as possible ok?

love, mom
xoxox

Sophistication

Just needed this one to go in the book.

doctor, doctor. give me the news.

the other day i counted and since Emerson was born we've been to the pediatricians office 7 times. which is a lot considering that he is only 10 weeks old.

the day he was born, he weighed 8lb 5 oz. when we left the hospital he weighed 7 lb 10 oz. which was a whole ordeal that was annoying and made me never want to have babies at a hospital in Idaho again. Did I ever mention that recovering in the hospital was like the worst two days of my life? I'm being dramatic but it was pretty sucky. No rest. No real help with anything. One nurse forced me to drink a can of prune juice. Emerson had a great latch the first couple of days. BUT I was forced to give him a bottle with formula because I was told in the middle of the night he had lost too much weight (now I know it was a normal amount) and it was the ONLY way. which messed up breastfeeding and then instead of getting real solutions to breastfeeding issues I was given temporary solutions which in the end made it where I couldn't exclusively breastfeed and made me totally hate breastfeeding because it was frustrating and exhausting. But anyway, I'm being a real whiner here. I just think it should be required for ALL hospitals to have certified lactation consultants available and not just L&D Nurses who all have different experiences with breast feeding and just give you advice based on their personal experiences and not actual knowledge on the subject. ANYWAY I'LL STOP RANTING.

then we went for his 3 day check up and he was back up to 7 lb 14 oz. So since he was gaining weight I took it upon myself to attempt to exclusively breastfeed again.

when we went in for his 2 week check up he weighed in at 8 lbs 3.5 oz. and I felt proud. "Screw formula!" I thought. But then the doctor said it wasn't good enough and to come back in a week just for a weight check to make sure he was still gaining. SO I kept breastfeeding.

a week later we went in and when I put him on the scale the scale said 8 lb 3.5 oz again. and I was devastated. I wanted to cry right there.  but I waited until we got into the car.  I failed as a mom. The one job I had was to make him grow and I couldn't. they told me to either supplement with formula or increase the number of feedings. I was exhausted and heartbroken. I felt like the only thing I was doing was feeding him non stop. They told me to come back AGAIN in a week.

So to my dismay I started to supplement with formula. In a way it was nice because Taylor could help with middle of the night feedings even if I hadn't pumped enough milk. But I felt so guilty.

A week later I took him and when he got on the scale he weighed 8 lb 14 oz. I was so excited! He had gained 10.5 oz in 7 days! My guilt started to fade when I realized that even though hippy moms all over the world might think I'm a failure as a mom, at least he was growing and back on track.

[In case you haven't been counting we are now up to 4 doctors visits.]

Then we went to GA for Christmas. I'm not sure where it happened but when we got home Emerson was sick. It was the saddest thing in the world. It was most just a stuffy runny nose but when he started coughing I got scared and decided to take him into the doctor even though his 2 month appt was only 4 days away. When I took him to get checked out he weighed 10 lb 10 oz. I was so relieved that he was gaining weight still. But the days following that until his 2 month check up he was spitting up A LOT and OFTEN because of all the mucous he was swallowing (I KNOW TMI but WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO? ITS MOM LYFE).

So at his two month check up he weighed 10 lb 5 oz. He had lost 5 oz. I had kind of expected it with all the throwing up. In fact he had thrown up in the car on the way to the appt. but I was bummed out because I knew they were gonna make me come back. Which I'll do anything to ensure that my baby is healthy but A) I kind of hate the pediatric center and B) loading a kid up to be somewhere on time is hard.

SO YESTERDAY we went back to check his weight AGAIN and homeboy weighed in at 11 LBS AND 5 OZ. I WAS STOKED! He had gain a pound in ten days. Putting him in the 15th percentile (he's a little guy, but at least he's on the charts)

This post turned into more of a rant than I had expected. But hopefully he won't need to go back until his 4 month check up. I just wish that *I* could be the one who had such a hard time putting weight on. sheesh.

Luh my baby though.

I can wait.

Once you become an adult, it seems like time flies a million times faster than it ever did before. Once you have a kid, it's even more so. Even when you're walking around like a zombie wondering how you are even alive with the little to no sleep you've gotten in the last month.

But even still I catch myself saying "I can't wait until he can...." about Emerson and immediately I think of him as a grown up, get sad, and I take it back and say, "Well, I can wait."

Things might be a little easier when he can sit up in the tub on his own and I don't have to hold him up by his bum so he doesn't get water in his ears. It might be easier when he can hold his own bottle. It might be easier  to carry him around when he can hold his head up on his own for longer periods of time. It might be more fun when he full on giggles at us. It might be more fun when he's a toddler who says hilarious things. It might even be more fun when he's big enough to play with the dogs. My heart might explode when he starts calling me mommy.

But right now is good too. Actually, right now is perfect. I know one day he won't need me for every little thing and that makes me a little sad to think about. So I'm trying to savor everything. Every smile, every late night exhausted feeding, every milestone, and even every poopy diaper.

 I can wait for him to grow up.

Emerson: month two

my happy baby
you've been with us for TWO MONTHS now. and surprise surprise, we still love you.

right now you're sick with a cold. i had to take you to the doctor to make sure that it wasn't anything more serious. fortunately it wasn't, but unfortunately I can't really do much to make you feel better. which makes me feel pretty helpless. plus, you've cried more the last couple of days than you have in your entire two months of life. it makes my heart hurt. BUT you've still managed to give me a few smiles everyday and that makes everything better.

we got to go to Georgia for Christmas! It was your first Christmas (obviously) your first plane ride (obviously) and your first time in Georgia (obviously). You did awesome on the plane. (That probably won't be the case next year when you're mobile.) and Your nana and pop and aunts and uncles and cousins loved you! We got to have family pictures taken while we were there and you slept through the entire photoshoot. I guess I'll let it slide this time, since you are an infant and all. Your cousin Paisley REALLY loved you. She kept calling you babies" and any time she would see me or your dad with or without you she would say "Babies! Babies! Babies!" When you wore your sweet little bear suit she wanted to carry you around like her baby dolls.

you've started smiling a LOT more. you kind of laugh sometimes too. we have conversations back and forth. You don't really you know, use words-- but I get the idea. You love to PLAY. You started kicking and punching (dancing) when you lay on your back so I thought it might be a good time to get you an activity play mat. you probably don't really understand what you're doing but you do grab the rings on the toys and hit them and it seems to make you excited. You're basically a genius. I mean, for your age. Keep this up! With any luck you'll be a child prodigy and make us rich so we can leave Idaho.

You are the coolest and we love your face off!

love, mom