I can wait.

Once you become an adult, it seems like time flies a million times faster than it ever did before. Once you have a kid, it's even more so. Even when you're walking around like a zombie wondering how you are even alive with the little to no sleep you've gotten in the last month.

But even still I catch myself saying "I can't wait until he can...." about Emerson and immediately I think of him as a grown up, get sad, and I take it back and say, "Well, I can wait."

Things might be a little easier when he can sit up in the tub on his own and I don't have to hold him up by his bum so he doesn't get water in his ears. It might be easier when he can hold his own bottle. It might be easier  to carry him around when he can hold his head up on his own for longer periods of time. It might be more fun when he full on giggles at us. It might be more fun when he's a toddler who says hilarious things. It might even be more fun when he's big enough to play with the dogs. My heart might explode when he starts calling me mommy.

But right now is good too. Actually, right now is perfect. I know one day he won't need me for every little thing and that makes me a little sad to think about. So I'm trying to savor everything. Every smile, every late night exhausted feeding, every milestone, and even every poopy diaper.

 I can wait for him to grow up.