the one that got away.

*WARNING* love and emotions.

today is our 3 year anniversary. so this is kind of a love letter to my husband. except a love letter that other people can read because no one wants to read the ones I write privately because they would gag or throw up  and/or cry. I guess this might induce the same reaction but in a different way...

sometimes I think about how easy it would have been for Taylor and I not to end up together and it blows my mind. actually I'll be honest, it terrifies me. which is stupid. because why would you be scared of something that never happened? It was just too many close calls. Like dodging bullets. If you would have just slightly tweaked one thing in either of our lives, we could have just never met. Or met but ended up with someone else, anyway.

I think about how many people have the one person in their life that they label as "the one that got away" and how horrible it must feel to live a life of "what ifs" or "what could have beens".

Taylor is my one that got away, that didn't really ever get away. I know that there are lots of people who feel that way about the one they ended up with too. So it's not like we're some kind of needle in a haystack but we are one of the lucky ones. To be in love with no regrets. To know that we are exactly where we belong.

I may hate where I live, but it doesn't make me feel any less blessed. I am married to the man of my dreams and I got to have his beautiful baby and will hopefully pop out a few more in the coming years, and maybe one day live somewhere that I don't hate...

When I think back on our life so far, scenes play through my mind like a movie montage (cue bryan adams cheesy 80's ballad) we're getting engaged and fighting more than ever, we make it through and we're getting married, we're on our honeymoon without a care in the world, we're back to reality, we're getting into debt, we're stressed about our future, we fight sometimes, then we make up, we're relieved when Taylor gets a job, we are living in the UK (seriously, who gets to just live in the UK all expenses paid?), we're homesick, we're moving to Savannah, I'm mad about something, Taylor makes it where I can't stay mad, find out I'm pregnant, 5 days later, miscarriage, Taylor leaves for China for a month, we're skyping, he comes home, we're kissing, we're laughing, we're enjoying Savannah, suddenly we're unemployed, we're bickering, then we're laughing again, he gets a job in Idaho, total shock, we drive to Idaho, when we arrive first thing, I see a lady wearing a scrunchie and I cry because I hate it here, Taylor laughs at me, we live in a camper for a month, we buy our first house, we're settling in, get another dog, a reckless valentine's day, pregnancy test positive, in shock, then really happy, Taylor bringing me cold rags and glasses of water as I barf into the toilet every morning, getting ready for baby, baby gets here, in love with him, adjusting to parenthood, and suddenly we realize we've been
at this for 3 years and we're still in love.

In the scheme of things, 3 years isn't even that long. And the speed at which it has all taken place makes it feel like it's only been a few months.We've seen a lot of places and been through a lot of changes and ups and downs and I'm glad I picked a good one to do it all with.

happy anniversary my love. you're the only one for me, even if we are 11th cousins.